Not sure

I am not sure of making the right choice,
I am not sure whether my decision hurt my feeling,
I am not sure how far I can stand still with my decision,
I am not sure of how to create a win-win situation,
I am not sure lying myself is the best decision,
I am not sure doing the real me will solve the problem,
I am not sure of many things that might cost me with tears while listening to "Tears & rain"
I am not sure putting this down is the right decision, and taking that up will succeed in future.

Situation has changed in me. I have see things differently due to the wrong timing of situation that happened. I wish I have not noticed that, and I got no feeling as a human being.

Is this a god's plan? To actually challenge me on making the right choice and the right decision that leads me to different future? Taking up decision is not easy, especially when it comes to feeling. When feeling play a role in a situation, you will have to make a wise choice that will not affect or that it actually affect a lot.

What do you want? - is a question to me.
I want this. - is a doubt on me.
I choose the other one. - is a disappointment.

Which one should I take, to just notice the other, or keep it silently and follow the flow?!! I must have going through a most difficult situation. I am playful, but I am not. I am 1, but Im not 1.

Ivan graduated

For many months back, it was the first day of my enrollment to a college, the first class that I had attended was photography class. The first ever person I had met outside the photography studio was Melvin Gan. The foundation classes are all-round with happiness and knowledge. At the same time, I had found my so call "kai ma" in the college. She has been a good lecturer and "kaima" to me and Melvin. Sometime we have lunch together, even dinner together. We talk and laugh and share together.

Tomorrow is the day that I am going to receive my scroll.

To be honest, I had no excitement at all. Even though that's tomorrow, but I am still awake trying to write something about it at this wee hour. Bare in mind, I had not enough sleep for the past few days, and I am still awake here with eye half closed.

Through out the 3 years in College, learning is the key to my realistic future. A much more solid base as a Interior Designer. I believe I had learn enough from college to challenge the work out there with full of passion. I can truly tell you that my heart towards working is not about money, it's all about my passion in to this field.

Logically, all of us love money to assist us in living needs. At this moment, I have the living needs that I wanted now. But who knows what I wants in the future. So, let it go, I believe in passion works for money, not money works for passion. The key to many things is about exploring yourself toward the world. Learn yourself from what you get as experience. The more experience you have, the more things you seen, the more freedom you have.

P/S: after reading all my post in my blog, you can still see how passionate I am towards my success. It all contains word of wisdom.

CV

I have been sending out CV to companies that I thought I would love to work with. But I got nothing in reply from them, so I am still the unproductive person each and everyday.

By now, that's about it. Cause Even though I am so free, but I have got no passion in writing everything that I have thought along the day. So maybe later...

Teluk Cempedak, Kuantan

Achieve but unsatisfied

I was told that I am the one, I was told that I can do it.


Base on above, I think I had achieved them. It is a challenge to myself, but not to the others. I still think that I have not done the best I could, but it's already done. At least I am part of one that can make it done in time. It just wasn't enough for me to fulfill my satisfaction. Even though I have not thought that I could be the one, but I am the one now, and it is part of my goal to be the one, but I have no high hope on it while I am just trying my best to be the one as my goal.

I am glad that some of them appreciate what I have chosen and done. And the choice that I have chosen is good enough to satisfied some of them to put me in to competition with the others. Unless, I did a fine tune on it, before it is on par with the competition.


At least there is something to shout. This is my first time in my entire life. Even though it might not sounds big to some of you, but it sounds good to myself. As I did the one to myself. I am not taking this as a "proud" to myself. But is an achievement.

It is there, but not there. Half way there, but I am there.

Ya, I was told that I am the top scorer for my final project.

Change...

As topic, from this post onwards, I am going to change. In something you might realize later, in few more post?! I don't know what's that, but I am trying to do it better just to show improvement in something. Well, that's for you to discover later. Chio...

DONE!! After life...

Ya, I know it's another long skip here. But then, I just do not know what to write. Eventhough I am supposed to have a lot of ideas in writing since I am having a long break here... Where everything is done with college.

It's a 4months gap ahead to Melbourne for RMIT. I should have at least look for a contract job for 3months and left one month for myself to enjoy, especially with thick account after that 3 months work. But then I lack of completion letter from college, so that I cant take up a job without that letter. It's inappropriate. therefore what I am doing now at home, is not even productive. I am not trying to braise myself but I just cant continue living my life like this without anything to do. that's so not me. Being a productive person. I should have at least plan something to do, travelling it's the best things to do for now, but then I bitch poor - dont have money, but wanna spend money. So things are not running on my side.

Beside playing some futsal - indoor soccer if some of you do not know what's that. Drinking around at pubs and went clubbing sometime, perhaps cathing some movie. Nothing else ... Ya, I know when I am broke, I should not take all this that cost money. But then as I said earlier, I am bitch poor. So no choice, but to take money from parent, which I dont like to do that, cause it's so bad to take money from parent at my age, I am suppose to go out look for job, going for interview and making solution for a job instead of doing nothing, hanging around on the internet, playing games - simmcity 4.

How I wish to go on a village, just to check out what can that village offer and perhaps something can inspire me... The trip I went to perth last time was a great trip, it brings me laughter, inspiration, family bond.. And some of the places are just amazing enough for me to camp one night there with the natural coast, and some hot coffee, cause it's kinda cold over there. some sketch books perhaps. Lot more. If you were to ask me what's life, and that's life.

Talking about life, if you were to earn a lot, but lack out of fun. There is no life. if you earn a little, but yet you can dowhat's on your to-do-list, that's call life. One thing about life is call, excitement. If you do not have excitement on something, you lost curiousity. If you do not have curiousity, then I think you should just go back and stay on your bed. cause you dont even want to know what's happening beside you, what about, what's happening opposite of your coorination code?

I have a wish, it's to travel in budget around the globe, if that's ever possible. Cause it's a wish, therefore I can look forward to something instead of nothing.

July the Second Half...

Here comes July, it's another half of my final project...

The research period of 3 months are not bad, but I think I can do much better than the current one. Since it's already past. I'll just let it be at this moment. The second half, the design period. Where I got to develope my design,space planning and many other stuff that I got to make in to consideration.

My sister has gone back to Perth. I am again, lonely at home, where there is only my own voice, own activity. Nobody to argue with. such a boring life. But then again, there is always the good part of it, where there won't be anyone to disturb me while I wanted to be alone. Especially when I am doing my work. It has been 6 weeks that my sister are with us. I got to stick back with my old lifestyle, where I go out almost everyday for drinks, movies, or foods...

It has been 2weeks since I hand i my application through IDP. And I have been looking at my email everyday of this 2 weeks. Hope to get something from them soon...

Let's talk back my final project.

It has been progressing last week. Today, I did some progress too. When I start, everything goes well, and I am happy with the last space planning, due to some little adjustment I got to plan every single thing again. So when it comes to readjsuting, I stucked eventually. And there's when I demotivate and starting to procrastinate again... For once again, I procrastinate... It's such a time wasting period, but then, since my dad has came back at that time. So I think I shall stop and continue when they are all asleep.

Oh ya, I have joined the lowyat forum photography section. I am just really into photography, so I have shared some of my photograph on it.. waiting for comment.. haha

P/S: obviously I am bored enought to write this... Hope for soe drinks...

Back to my final project.

The worst Period.

Let me start by saying sorry since I have not post anything after "freedom".
Let me conclude the whole period before I start a new one.

FREEDOM - Great, the best rave party I have ever been to, perhaps the only one. Someone lost her ticket but she is calm and happy just because she got the chance to stay alone in the apartment to finish up her assignment. Yes, she did it all within the period. Other than that, the staying is the best apartment I have ever stay in to within PD due to the apartment is a private apartment, where I need to thanks Melvin for getting that for us. We have a good stay. Talking about Melvin, if this trip without him, there won't be a lot more fun, and a real freedom I shall say. He really eased out all out problem. Thumbs up for Melvin. Billion thanks you from all of us.

Direction to Freedom party...

The crazy bunch...

DJ Tiesto

DJ Cosmic Gate

DJ Ferry Corsten

GEMIA ISLAND - There is only one word to describe this island, which is located right beside Kapas Island - Simply "romantic". Due to the island is only quarter of Kapas island size, and I can tell you is really small that can only build a resort on this spectacular island. I got no say but to enjoy what I have in this trip. The sea view chalet is the best I have ever stay in, yes, it's also the only one by far. The experience is so different to stay in a sea view unit than a garden view unit. But the best thing is that this island only offer sea view chalet with a reasonable price. Check out this website: www.gemisland.com







Lynn Cozy Cafe - Head Chef - Carven Hooi (Australia)
Sours Chef - Calvin Ng (Malaysia)
The best family gathering ever through all my life. Since my sister is back as leisure, at the same time visit our family members, we are going to have a tight schedule. This is the only weekend that she is free to cook for us. So things plan out not bad. and it turns out not bad either.

Special Dates: In June, there is this many of dates that I got to attend every year.
Is my lovely mom's bday, is my sister's bday either, is my cousin and uncle bday as well. It's father's day too.... So June is the most hectic month. Beside the bday and celebration thing. I got to do my final presentation-part 1 within this week too. damn... I'm gonna die, since I am still procrastinating here...

Freedom Festival '08

Yup, as above...

At first, it was tiesto who make it sound so big that I must go. It's a rave party which located in Port dickson, I really never thought that Tiesto is coming for concert. Untill Dallas told me about it, everyone got excited. Too bad that friends of mine are all way either busy or just couldn't make it. Well, as a friend of them, I feel pity to them.

But I got to say, for once, I am going and you guys stay back... Of course I wish there can make it there. But, it just can't.

Without saying much, ticket bought, apartment booked (unconfirm), transport (pending)(headache)(arse hole)(problematic)(solving)......

for more infomation please log on to: http://www.freedom-08.net/

for ticketing infomation please log on to: http://www.axcess.com.my/

for transportation infomation please provide me!

Past 3months

If you were to notice that I am away from blogging for the past 3 months.
Family & Friends of mine should know what I am up to.

Yup, I am having practical training for the past 3 months. It's one of the goal that I wanted to reach before the training. At last, it comes till an end. It was weird to see back your college mate, cause we didn't see each other for 3 months. Everyone has changed. They have their own way of thinking now, not like last time. Everyone gone matured. People who is single becomes couple. People that I thought will never go for modelling actually went to Malaysian Dream Girl audition. But people like me, didn't change much except for the knowledge that I had learned in practical training.

I went to Axis Network Design Consultant Sdn. Bhd. for my training. People in there not just professional as I thought, but it's beyond professionalism. The environment of the office is nice, except for the air-conditional that switch off sometimes. And that's when the whole office in silent, but the temperature in there are not cold.

I hereby, take this chance to thanks Axis for accepting me as a practical trainee. Special thanks to Priscilla Leong, design manager. Learned a lot from you for the past 3 months. Beside that, the CAD designer - Kong, Eric, Bernice, Michelle, Ms. Chan. And of course, Mr. Lim, the one that always scold and speak loudly. But he is a nice guy yet playful. Learned lot from him as well. The project manager - Ms. Mak & Ms. Pei Kuan. Fellow collegue of mind - Fang Fang, Mei Wan.
Mr. Lai - Managing Director. Thanks for sharing your design knowledge with me. Appreciate that too.

Conclusion, satisfied with my training. At least I helped out a little in their projects. Bye.
Sign Off!

Believe in yourself

... and in your dream
though impossible things may seem,
someday, somehow you'll get through
to the goal you have in view.

Mountains fall and seas divide
before the one who in his stride
takes a hard road day by day,
sweeping obstacles away.

Believe in yourself and in your plan,
say not - I cannot - but, I can.

The prizes of life we fail to win
because we doubt the power within.

Quoted from pocket inspiration.

Lucky enough

Sorry guys for not updating such a time consuming subject. But I'm doing it again...

Ya, might be too busy before today, yet tomorrow will be another same day...

Can you imagine that I am actually writing this sentence by sentence? Am I clueless in front of my monitor now listening to Miserable at best - Mayday Parade?

Everyone have been scolding my "Finally" which will never end. So, I am now trying lucky instead of finally...

It has been a challenging days for me, just simply because I started my Internship.




I finally step into the world of interior design.
I finally got to work with people who has experiences that I will never had back in College.
I finally got my little name fills into interior design world.
I finally got someone name card because of business purposes.
I finally got the chance of speaking on the phone regarding about business.
I finally started my little path to the interior world with an amazing company.
I finally involve in to a gigantic project.
I finally got the chance working in an office environment.
I finally got my very first own table with garden view.
I finally take bus to work.
I finally got my self reach office early.

Finally again?!!

I love my Ipod.
I love my luck.

I got what I want.
I will get what I want more.
I will get what I want more before I succeeded.

LAME??!@#!@#%@!#&%!#%@!#^%!$I$^!*!&^%$#@!@$#^!@$&!