The new face

http://landonsouthgroove.blogspot.com/

Not sure

I am not sure of making the right choice,
I am not sure whether my decision hurt my feeling,
I am not sure how far I can stand still with my decision,
I am not sure of how to create a win-win situation,
I am not sure lying myself is the best decision,
I am not sure doing the real me will solve the problem,
I am not sure of many things that might cost me with tears while listening to "Tears & rain"
I am not sure putting this down is the right decision, and taking that up will succeed in future.

Situation has changed in me. I have see things differently due to the wrong timing of situation that happened. I wish I have not noticed that, and I got no feeling as a human being.

Is this a god's plan? To actually challenge me on making the right choice and the right decision that leads me to different future? Taking up decision is not easy, especially when it comes to feeling. When feeling play a role in a situation, you will have to make a wise choice that will not affect or that it actually affect a lot.

What do you want? - is a question to me.
I want this. - is a doubt on me.
I choose the other one. - is a disappointment.

Which one should I take, to just notice the other, or keep it silently and follow the flow?!! I must have going through a most difficult situation. I am playful, but I am not. I am 1, but Im not 1.

Ivan graduated

For many months back, it was the first day of my enrollment to a college, the first class that I had attended was photography class. The first ever person I had met outside the photography studio was Melvin Gan. The foundation classes are all-round with happiness and knowledge. At the same time, I had found my so call "kai ma" in the college. She has been a good lecturer and "kaima" to me and Melvin. Sometime we have lunch together, even dinner together. We talk and laugh and share together.

Tomorrow is the day that I am going to receive my scroll.

To be honest, I had no excitement at all. Even though that's tomorrow, but I am still awake trying to write something about it at this wee hour. Bare in mind, I had not enough sleep for the past few days, and I am still awake here with eye half closed.

Through out the 3 years in College, learning is the key to my realistic future. A much more solid base as a Interior Designer. I believe I had learn enough from college to challenge the work out there with full of passion. I can truly tell you that my heart towards working is not about money, it's all about my passion in to this field.

Logically, all of us love money to assist us in living needs. At this moment, I have the living needs that I wanted now. But who knows what I wants in the future. So, let it go, I believe in passion works for money, not money works for passion. The key to many things is about exploring yourself toward the world. Learn yourself from what you get as experience. The more experience you have, the more things you seen, the more freedom you have.

P/S: after reading all my post in my blog, you can still see how passionate I am towards my success. It all contains word of wisdom.

CV

I have been sending out CV to companies that I thought I would love to work with. But I got nothing in reply from them, so I am still the unproductive person each and everyday.

By now, that's about it. Cause Even though I am so free, but I have got no passion in writing everything that I have thought along the day. So maybe later...

Teluk Cempedak, Kuantan

Achieve but unsatisfied

I was told that I am the one, I was told that I can do it.


Base on above, I think I had achieved them. It is a challenge to myself, but not to the others. I still think that I have not done the best I could, but it's already done. At least I am part of one that can make it done in time. It just wasn't enough for me to fulfill my satisfaction. Even though I have not thought that I could be the one, but I am the one now, and it is part of my goal to be the one, but I have no high hope on it while I am just trying my best to be the one as my goal.

I am glad that some of them appreciate what I have chosen and done. And the choice that I have chosen is good enough to satisfied some of them to put me in to competition with the others. Unless, I did a fine tune on it, before it is on par with the competition.


At least there is something to shout. This is my first time in my entire life. Even though it might not sounds big to some of you, but it sounds good to myself. As I did the one to myself. I am not taking this as a "proud" to myself. But is an achievement.

It is there, but not there. Half way there, but I am there.

Ya, I was told that I am the top scorer for my final project.

Change...

As topic, from this post onwards, I am going to change. In something you might realize later, in few more post?! I don't know what's that, but I am trying to do it better just to show improvement in something. Well, that's for you to discover later. Chio...

DONE!! After life...

Ya, I know it's another long skip here. But then, I just do not know what to write. Eventhough I am supposed to have a lot of ideas in writing since I am having a long break here... Where everything is done with college.

It's a 4months gap ahead to Melbourne for RMIT. I should have at least look for a contract job for 3months and left one month for myself to enjoy, especially with thick account after that 3 months work. But then I lack of completion letter from college, so that I cant take up a job without that letter. It's inappropriate. therefore what I am doing now at home, is not even productive. I am not trying to braise myself but I just cant continue living my life like this without anything to do. that's so not me. Being a productive person. I should have at least plan something to do, travelling it's the best things to do for now, but then I bitch poor - dont have money, but wanna spend money. So things are not running on my side.

Beside playing some futsal - indoor soccer if some of you do not know what's that. Drinking around at pubs and went clubbing sometime, perhaps cathing some movie. Nothing else ... Ya, I know when I am broke, I should not take all this that cost money. But then as I said earlier, I am bitch poor. So no choice, but to take money from parent, which I dont like to do that, cause it's so bad to take money from parent at my age, I am suppose to go out look for job, going for interview and making solution for a job instead of doing nothing, hanging around on the internet, playing games - simmcity 4.

How I wish to go on a village, just to check out what can that village offer and perhaps something can inspire me... The trip I went to perth last time was a great trip, it brings me laughter, inspiration, family bond.. And some of the places are just amazing enough for me to camp one night there with the natural coast, and some hot coffee, cause it's kinda cold over there. some sketch books perhaps. Lot more. If you were to ask me what's life, and that's life.

Talking about life, if you were to earn a lot, but lack out of fun. There is no life. if you earn a little, but yet you can dowhat's on your to-do-list, that's call life. One thing about life is call, excitement. If you do not have excitement on something, you lost curiousity. If you do not have curiousity, then I think you should just go back and stay on your bed. cause you dont even want to know what's happening beside you, what about, what's happening opposite of your coorination code?

I have a wish, it's to travel in budget around the globe, if that's ever possible. Cause it's a wish, therefore I can look forward to something instead of nothing.